What does that make me?

This Saturday is the Rexburg Rush Triathlon. I look forward to it every year and I train....HARD for it. But not this year. I've been asked to come back and "defend my title" and I am NOT ready. For the last 6 weeks I've been working full time and not training and this Saturday I'm going to walk head-on into certain defeat. And I mean a complete trashing. I'm going to do it anyway.


Does that make me brave or Stupid????

I'm pretty sure I'm going to get Struck down by Lightning!

I went to a "prayer service" yesterday for my dad's brother. His name is David. Honestly, I know very little about David but I think I can safely assume that since he grew up with my dad, that at the very least, the formative years of David's life were similar to my dad's and therefore they shared some of the same issues. I do know that David loved and looked up to my dad. David even ran a few marathons. On Monday August 3rd, David was overcome by his issues and found the end of his life. His family is struggling to come to terms with this loss and some are in the denial stage, choosing to believe this was an accident. I'm sure however, that as soon as acceptance kicks in this family will be able to begin to horrid process of building a life without David.

Back to this service, and my inevitable striking down...the man whose immense responsibility it was to bring some solace to this grieving family, a family who went through another shocking and horrific death five years ago, STOOD AND TALKED ABOUT HIMSELF! He also, continued to support the myth that "an accident" had happened to David which invited a feeling of shame to the service and in the use of the word suicide. This man, this PERSON, wearing clothing that symbolizes God or a Higher Power, decided to tell this family that the song they had chosen to play in memory of their dad and brother, was written by a friend of his from the seminary, in a "name dropping" I-know-a-famous-person kind of way! Oh, and then, as an afterthought, he told a story about how the God is always near us and that he believed God would be there for David, "even if this was a choice and not an accident." This man fell way short of providing anything positive for this devastated family.

I was so irritated, to put it mildy and grateful that I know better...but completely irritated and now angry, that this family had to sit in a puddle of their own confusion and grief, looking for a rainbow, only to get spat upon on by some ignorant jackass disguised as a man of the cloth.

My response?...I basically had an unrighteous desire to get out of my chair, walk up to this man, and kick him...really hard...in places we should not mention. I suppose, I should be sorry for those thoughts, but I'm not. I am however, incredibly grateful, that the God I believe in, loves us unconditionally, and knows us individually, down to every hair on our imperfect little heads.

I guess, I answered my own question. I am in no danger of being struck down by lightning. But then again, a lightning storm might be nice if it means David's family can get their rainbow.




Dear David,

I know you were full of love for many people. I know you loved my dad. I know you were kind, and quirky, and love-able, and amazing. I know you've had it rough at times, but as long as I can remember, you have loved and cared for your family and your children. I know you endured many miles and marathon's in this life and you were given a medal at the end of each race. I know you were scared and shocked and hurt when my dad left this life and know you tried to be strong. I know you looked up to him. I know you have suffered, immensely.

David, I know you are free. I know you are strong. I know you are loved. I know you are not alone and I'll bet that my dad gave you another medal. You worked very hard here and I know you did enough.

I hope that your kids and your sisters saw the rainbow I tried to give them. And I pray that others will give them one, as well.

Please give love to my dad and my brother for me.

Your niece,


Jennica

TOLERANCE

I climbed a mountain a few days ago. My brother and I hiked good and hard for 12 hours straight. All the way up and then all the way down. I'm not sure which direction is harder. It was an exercise in drive and determination. We REALLY wanted to summit and we just kept moving until we got there.

On the way down we talked about how it's not really very fun to climb mountains. It's work! You have to be pretty mentally tough about getting up there and you can't quit. I'm still pretty sore from the whole thing but I learned something...

If you want to, you can do anything. Physically, you can keep going for a loooonnngg time even if you think you are exhausted. If you are motivated and brave enough to try...you can do it. The effort is always worth it.

Thank you, Jaren, for suffering with me.

PERSPECTIVE

Look at these clear, fresh faced babies! Since I started working full-time at a Dermatologists office I have learned some things about skin issues and let me tell you...be grateful for new, healthy, non-itchy, non-puss-filled, non viral-warty, soft-and-smooth-as-a-babies-bottom, skin. No molluscum contagiosa. No occular psoriasis. No seborheic keratenosis. No nothing! Just fabulous, amazing, maybe a tiny little bit freckly, skin.

My job is great! I'm growing... alot. To be honest, things are a little hectic. I mean, I cry sometimes when I get home because I've missed them. They are beautiful and I smother their smudged but otherwise clean faces with kisses.

But, I'm trying to be positive and today I'm grateful for their health.

SUPERWOMAN

I'm not, superwoman. I'm trying to figure it out. Is it even possible to work, love your babes, cook for everyone & have a clean house?

I was able to actually put some grub on the table a few times lately but steer clear of the laun_ry rooms & the bathrooms. They look like something blew up in there.

As you can see I'm still missing a letter...it's kin_ of like a metaphor for my life. I've got some of it in or_er but there's just something missing & it looks a little funny.

I will progress. It will get easier, right? RIGHT?

WOW!

Too much to complete, too little time.


yikes!

IN_EPEN_ ANCE _AY!

Wow. I just realize_ something. But I have to insert a warning here. Not about what I just realize_ but about my computer. I have a key that _oesn't work all of the su__en. Guess which one it is. _ang it! Anyhoo, I have to tell you something. Well, tell me something so that I can always remember it.

Here it is.

I've been feeling sorry for myself. All worke_ up over going to work an leaving my ki_s home an_ losing my workout time an_ my leisure space an_ other stuff...etc. In short, I've been a big baby about having to grow up an I'm not, I'm not, I'm not happy about it. Actually, I'm excite_ about the job I was very blesse_ to get but haven't been able to wrap my hea_ aroun_ all the change.

BUT!

Lately, I've become "in the know" about a few people's lives who are struggling, an_ reaching out, an_ telling me stuff. I've ha_ the opportunity to insert my very small amount of wis_om with the issues they are _ealing with. So, this morning I thought to myself. "Wow, I'm really helping these people." I got a little puffe_ up but then very quickly it struck me that the whole reason for this strange situation is two-fol_ . One, because these people have really nee_e_ something right now an_ I was able to give it to them. Two, I nee_e_ to realize that while there is a lot going on right now, I HAVE learne_, an_ I HAVE grown, an_ I HAVE been blesse_ in the trials I've face_ over the years an_ my life coul_ be 100 times har_er. I might just make it through this one, too.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.