I'm pretty sure I'm going to get Struck down by Lightning!

I went to a "prayer service" yesterday for my dad's brother. His name is David. Honestly, I know very little about David but I think I can safely assume that since he grew up with my dad, that at the very least, the formative years of David's life were similar to my dad's and therefore they shared some of the same issues. I do know that David loved and looked up to my dad. David even ran a few marathons. On Monday August 3rd, David was overcome by his issues and found the end of his life. His family is struggling to come to terms with this loss and some are in the denial stage, choosing to believe this was an accident. I'm sure however, that as soon as acceptance kicks in this family will be able to begin to horrid process of building a life without David.

Back to this service, and my inevitable striking down...the man whose immense responsibility it was to bring some solace to this grieving family, a family who went through another shocking and horrific death five years ago, STOOD AND TALKED ABOUT HIMSELF! He also, continued to support the myth that "an accident" had happened to David which invited a feeling of shame to the service and in the use of the word suicide. This man, this PERSON, wearing clothing that symbolizes God or a Higher Power, decided to tell this family that the song they had chosen to play in memory of their dad and brother, was written by a friend of his from the seminary, in a "name dropping" I-know-a-famous-person kind of way! Oh, and then, as an afterthought, he told a story about how the God is always near us and that he believed God would be there for David, "even if this was a choice and not an accident." This man fell way short of providing anything positive for this devastated family.

I was so irritated, to put it mildy and grateful that I know better...but completely irritated and now angry, that this family had to sit in a puddle of their own confusion and grief, looking for a rainbow, only to get spat upon on by some ignorant jackass disguised as a man of the cloth.

My response?...I basically had an unrighteous desire to get out of my chair, walk up to this man, and kick him...really hard...in places we should not mention. I suppose, I should be sorry for those thoughts, but I'm not. I am however, incredibly grateful, that the God I believe in, loves us unconditionally, and knows us individually, down to every hair on our imperfect little heads.

I guess, I answered my own question. I am in no danger of being struck down by lightning. But then again, a lightning storm might be nice if it means David's family can get their rainbow.




Dear David,

I know you were full of love for many people. I know you loved my dad. I know you were kind, and quirky, and love-able, and amazing. I know you've had it rough at times, but as long as I can remember, you have loved and cared for your family and your children. I know you endured many miles and marathon's in this life and you were given a medal at the end of each race. I know you were scared and shocked and hurt when my dad left this life and know you tried to be strong. I know you looked up to him. I know you have suffered, immensely.

David, I know you are free. I know you are strong. I know you are loved. I know you are not alone and I'll bet that my dad gave you another medal. You worked very hard here and I know you did enough.

I hope that your kids and your sisters saw the rainbow I tried to give them. And I pray that others will give them one, as well.

Please give love to my dad and my brother for me.

Your niece,


Jennica