upside down

i got a call from ty's teacher last week asking for us to come in and have a meeting with her and the school's principle regarding ty's escalating impulse control and disrespect issues.  we met to discuss how we, as a team, can help him be successful with the social energies that school and life requires.  he is exceptionally bright and requires a little bit more to keep him occupied.  his current issues stem from the fact that he, as our youngest child, either gets overly mothered or picked-on and it is confusing for him.  he is, and always has been, very quickly reactive.  he's fun to tease...his response is big and the playground kids love watching him get all worked up.  ty is also fiercely independent and keenly aware of his personal preferences and he has recently begun refusing to participate in things he doesn't like and this has become difficult for his teacher to manage.

as with most of life's complications i take the situation and i turn it around in my head until i can separate my personal responsibility and formulate a plan of action for my future influence.  i have struggled this week trying to figure out the history and the progression of events that have lead to where we are now.  not because the history is necessarily challenging but because i am forced to accept my responsibility and my short-comings as a parent.  i am keenly aware of my inadequacies of late.

i took ty climbing yesterday for some one-on-one time.  ty is very strong and knows how to isolate and use his muscles.  he has run almost 100 miles this school year during his tuesday and thursday recesses at school. and the kid has six-pack abs!   while i watched ty climb i worked on a route that progresses out of a shallow cave.  hanging from the ceiling forces better technique in order to conserve enough strength and energy to complete the route.  i have to focus hard on using my core muscles and good hip movement to alleviate some of the pressure on my hands and my forearms.  and i really have to trust and allow my confidence to perpetuate movement to the next hold.  otherwise, it's too overwhelming to hang upside down.

today, izzy and i had a handstand contest and it reminded me of my dad and how he used to walk on his hands across the yard.  as a child of an alcoholic and the oldest boy of 9 kids i doubt he was ever told how physically strong he could become and how that physical strength would benefit him mentally and socially for so many years. i wish i knew what the catalyst was for his athletic endeavors.

as i process and turn these events over in my head it occurs to me that while i have spent time this week, both physically and figuratively, upside down, it really will be ok and the pull of the gravity is beginning to seem less overwhelming.  i can work with ty, little by little, and help him use positive physical pursuits to engage his mind and avoid boredom.  i can encourage him to allow his core strength and his new techniques to alleviate some of the pressure he feels when pushed by others.  i can teach him to be confident and trust that doing something he doesn't want to do does not make him less tough or less independent.  and i can tell him that using his hands (like his grandpa) to travel over the earth is a better pursuit than making a fist.

and i can put my arms around him and tell him that, no matter what, i love him.