water

years ago, while bathing together, isabel told me she wanted my friend heather to be her mother. it kind of stung and i felt hurt. but, as i sat soaking in the heat of the tub watching the bubbles swirl away from my skin while she poured water from a cup over my head, i realized what she meant by the words she chose. she loved heather and felt safe with her; the limits of her 3 year old vocabulary forced her to use the one word she knew that was synonymous with those qualities. then, i got it and was no longer threatened by her statement.

it's funny sometimes...the words we use to describe our thoughts and our feelings. understanding others and ourselves really, often requires some sort of super power, gravitational pull, a full moon, or a planetary alignment, etc...to get it right. i think it's common for us to repeat things we have heard before in our homes or from the media that seem to represent us when we can't create correct verbiage on our own. emotions cycle around our heads, trying to find the quickest escape route and sometimes they take a detour confusing things for everybody involved.

have you ever heard someone else speak your thoughts for you and have it finally click? or have you felt one way for a long time and then realized, as people and things in your life evolve, that specific space in your head has morphed into something different entirely?

there were a few topics that, while he was living and despite great effort, my dad and i were unable to agree on. we could not merge our versions of understanding; our communication limitations prevented the alignment necessary to share one solar system. as things have changed, though, i have come to the realization that for the most part it shouldn't have mattered if we stood on the same ground at all and that many times we even traveled parallel paths towards the same destination without ever having our eyes opened to it.

how grateful i am that God allows for a continuation of progression and growth even after life has ended and we can no longer communicate with others on the same plane. through the peace this belief provides it is encouraging to me in the space i occupy now that when i encounter situations that require interpretation, as with isabel in the tub, that with some effort, it is possible to hear what someone else is feeling even if the words used seem to report something else entirely. and i know that the effort required to figure it out is well worth it.

there have been and will continue to be many "bathtime" conversations with the people i love in my life and i pray that, like the water isabel poured over my head as i contemplated and analyzed her statement, there will be many waves of understanding to bless those interactions and perpetuate growth in our ability to fully communicate and know one another.