I will kiss you tomorrow!

This is a hello to me, a non-soggy "calgon" moment, a way to allow myself an outlet. I have only slightly missed my prior blog since deleting it months ago. I have however, been surprised that I missed those few minutes of creative outpouring...stringing sentences together in a controlled manner that doesn't involve the shock and confusion over the latest antics of my children. (Actually, they do and will involve those things but perhaps they will allow me some semblance of normal brain activity and not turn me into a lethargic "buh, buh, buh" babbling amnesiac.) Especially, the youngest, who has inspired me to make lists. Not, mind you, to-do type lists but lists of things to laugh about later when I'm through scrubbing and my blood pressure returns to manageable levels. I swear, the kid is not even human...at least he's battery-powered with no sign of an off switch. He completely baffles me everyday. I should thank him though, for accommodating my ever increasing minimalism as I am forced to get rid of several things per day that he has broken or rendered unsightly. He's the kind of kid who, I'm sure, could have inspired the invent of nicknames and/or Morse code. His given name (and his eyes and his teeny little red lips) is way too sweet to invoke or describe the kind of peril he creates each day.

Here, I will make a list. An ever-growing list of things he should/has apologize for. These apologies are in his own words....

1. Mom, I'm sorry I threw a banana at your head.
2. I'm sorry I peed on your shower curtain.
3. I'm sorry I jumped on your picture frame and broke it into pieces.
4. I'm sorry I took all your Nike golf balls.
5. I'm sorry I hammered nails into your door.
6. I'm sorry I bit your bottom.
7. I'm sorry I licked your windows.
8. I'm sorry I colored on the couch.
9. I'm sorry I dumped baking soda and powdered sugar all over the floor.
10. I'm sorry I stole your vegetable peeler and shaved pencils behind my bed.
11. I'm sorry I cut your tape-measure to bits.
12. I'm sorry I keep stealing your honey bear.
13. I'm sorry I wiped my nose on your couch.
14. I'm sorry I hid orange peels in the couch.
15. I'm sorry I called you a pee-brain and a fat-head.
16. I'm sorry I spit on your shoe.
17. I'm sorry I stuffed your credit cards into the cd player.

18. I'm sorry I scribbled on your leather seats with permanent marker.

19. I'm sorry I put those there. (?)

20. I'm sorry I spit in your 7-layer dip.

21. I'm sorry I tried to crack your finger.

22. I'm sorry I threw your laptop acroos the room.

23. I'm sorry I scribble on your computer screen.

24. I'm sorry I tore up a business check.

25. I'm sorry I spilled a jar of honey on the kitchen floor.

26. I'm sorry I used my driver instead of my putter in the basement. (!)

27. I'm sorry I yelled at you for praying "ferfout" me. (without--I hope he never learns to say it correctly.)

Reminder! This list will grow. Maybe even daily. Don't be surprised. Just remember how he says "I will kiss you tomorrow!"