ECLIPSE

last sunday, i layed on the driveway trying not to move. i wore two pairs of sunglasses and waited for the solar eclipse. a solar eclipse occurs when the moon travels between the earth and the sun. as the moon covers the sun, the sky grows progressively darker. the sun, however, is bigger than the moon and even when the moon is centrally located in front of the sun, there is still light and the promise that the moon will continue to travel until it no longer covers the sun. as i watched this happen in the sky, i thought about the marathon i had completed the morning prior and the lessons i needed to learn from it. my achy body melted into the concrete as i tried to remember how i found myself at that starting line. months ago, some friends and i registered and began planning for the ogden marathon. we knew that training for a spring marathon would require lots of miles while being exposed to the winter elements. we would need to outfit ourselves with the right layers in order to protect ourselves from the cold. generally, winter training pace is slowed due to icy conditions, clothing restriction, and frigid temperatures impacting blood flow and movement. it is the hope that after months of running in those temps and those layers that shedding them come race day will bring relief from the restrictions of all winter entities and allow for a faster pace. last friday, four of us covered some drive-time miles together on i-15 while sharing the current state of our individual element-impacted lives and we expressed our gratitude for the comraderie and support we have shared while bi-pedal on the roads. we also nervously bantered in regards to our worries and expectations about what we could accomplish the next day on the course. it is difficult to predict performance in any race but seemingly impossible when training has been less than ideal as well as plagued with injury, illness, and dramatic life changes. the only variable we knew for certain was that we agreed we would support individual choice in pace and finish times and there would never be pressure to run someone elses race and no matter what, we would consider the adventure for what it was...an adventure. and, of course, we were grateful to be sharing whatever misery ensued with each other. the next morning we huddled together in a field of fire barrels and nervous runners and discussed which layers we would keep and which we would discard and where we would wait for one another at the finish. after we removed our extra clothing and tossed our numbered bags into the transport vehicle we walked together to the start corral and just sort of ended up behind the 3:35 pace group and waited for the gun to sound. my friends and i followed the race course closely together for about nine miles before any significant pace changes started to occur and the effects of the last few months took over. as women and moms and wives we tend to feel the aches and pains of those we care about until they become part of us and running, on our own or together, is a way for us to use our physicality to help manage those feelings and responsibilities. while the marathon training serves a congruent purpose for all of us, each of us responds differently to those daily stresses. some of us run until we feel lifes anxieties drip away with the sweat. some of us run to keep the chaos from stopping our movement altogether. all of us run for the support and the friendship and the emotional strength that grows as our capacity for endurance builds. the race was tough for all of us and we tested ourselves beyond what, according to our training, we should have been able to achieve. missed training runs, illness, and injury have eclipsed our lives over the last while and we felt restricted by those extra layers. for some, the weight of responsibilites and resulting emotional struggles impacted physicality and restricted ability to move fast. for another, physical pain from chronic injury left a mental limp that seemed impossible to bear. for me, my "race day brain" forced me to outrun my inadequecies and push for physical rather than emotional pain. in the end, we all reached the finish line of this tough challenge and though it may have felt like a disappointment i would remind us that, one way or another, we got there. and in some ways the elements that impacted our movements actually set us free and made us more resilient. we faced an obvious opponent and kept moving until we conquered it. lets not forget that while the layers we wear in winter are restrictive, they still protect us from the cold. and that day, the lessons we learned about ourselves and each other will benefit us when facing future endeavors. i challenge us all to remember what it is about each of us that drove us to register and commit to training in the first place and that that is what is most important. regardless of anything that happened after that moment we need to remember we had what we needed to take on this course and overcome lifes challenges then and we still have it. and like the sun, we are bigger than the moon and while we may feel overshadowed and struggle in the darkness at times there is still light and the promise that the moon will continue to travel until it no longer covers the sun.